Epic Fail

December. December. That's when I last spoke.

Sorry. I'm back, we're back. To continue our adventures, our story.

I won't bore you with the recap of the past four months, you'll catch up. Just know that we are all well and in a good place.

So on with the story.

I went in for some PEG button changing training the other day with the school nurse. Zack's Mic-Key button has been in place now for five years and every three months it needs to be replaced with a new one.

This job was always done by a nurse. I avoided it at all costs, too squeamish (wimpy I know) but also the fact that he once pulled it out by himself and then it refused to go back in firmly boxed off any chance I had of going near it. 

However, given I am often on my own with him and he has a taste for getting hold of his button and/or feeding tube I thought it was about time I come face to face with my nemesis.

So here I was at 3.15pm in school looking at a pretend baby doll that has had a really rough start in life. I mean that baby has a tracheostomy, a cannula, a peg and some other hole in the poor things stomach. Also, small child, the curious four year old enquires about each and every added extra that appears on the babies body. I swear by the time she's 10 she will have the knowledge of a first year medic student.

Pretend doll didn't play along, the peg wouldn't go back in, things did not bode well.

We move over to real child who was very happily chilling on the floor listeining to music having been very unimpressed with the school visitor, subject matter being gardening.

I get the peg out okay, by this point Zack is highly amused at my attempt to not butcher his stomach and does not co-operate by lying in a relaxed manner as I shakily went in for the placement of the PEG. Would it go in? My arse it would, nope it kept wobbling and bending all over the shop. Which only increased Zack's capacity for laughter and my inability to get over my fear of pushing on.

In the end I quit and the nurse popped it in.

Epic fail. I flunked my first attempt. I didn't even flunk my drivers test first time and all this is is putting a small plastic tube into a hole. Oh, did I mention it's only a hole that goes directly into my child's stomach. No pressure then.

Agreement was that I have another go in three months time.


I came home with both children and told Dan about my flunking of the button change. By the way, he has successfully completed his training no problem. 

Yeah I thought you might find it difficult was his first response. You kind of have to wiggle it about. You'll get it though. 

Yep, I'll get it. But for now Nurse Gould, if that button comes out, you're up.

I ran into the bathroom to find Dan and Zack minus one gastrostomy tube

Do you remember a while back in this blog I talked about changing Zack's gastrostomy to a Mic-key button? And how we would wait until he was a bit older as he would have to undergo a general anesthetic?


Well, unexpectedly, he now has his Mic-Key button. And had no general anesthetic.


Naturally this was all done in a dramatic fashion as nothing is ever simple in our house. I mean if it was, what the hell would I blog about, all this would be quite dull.


Thursday evening, Dan was giving Zack a bath when I heard him shout Linzi, in his panic voice that puts the fear of God into me. I ran into the bathroom to find Dan with Zack who was now minus one gastrostomy tube. 


Dan had accidently pulled it out when he was undressing the Pants. 


"It just came out."


"What do you mean it just came out, is he okay, did he cry?" 


"No he wasn't bothered at all." And he wasn't, he was just bothered about the fact he was lying on the bathroom floor half undressed.


In the next ten minutes we had two children in the car and we were all on our way to Alder Hey A & E. I knew we had to get there quick sticks as the hole were his gastrostomy had been would start to close up. Luckily we were seen straight away by a nurse who put in a catheter as a temporary measure until we could see the Stoma nurse. 


We were able to feed him through this and were sent home. After a bit of chasing up on Friday we managed to get hold of the Stoma nurse at Alder Hey who said she would put in a Mic-Key button.


I was under the impression that you had to have a General Anesthetic for that but no, apparently that's only to get it out. Hmmm. Seems there is a silver lining to every cloud.


The nurse also mentioned that the gastrostomy is only really a stop gap of about six months and the longest she's seen one in for is 18 months. OH. Maybe our two years is a world record.


So now we have one little boy with a little button in his belly. No dangle tube tucked into his pants, all nice and neat. Here's a picture of one, not Zacks, but an example of what we mean.


Mic-Key



Funny how accidents can create a good outcome. Well sometimes they can.