A proper grown up boy

Think I've finished the statement information request from the LEA. Think I am happy with it. But still can't bring myself to think of him going to school.

All day. He will be gone all day. I feel like September is hurtling toward us and I am trying my best to ignore it. I am worried about so many things, mainly that I can trust the people that are there to teach the children. To trust that alongside receiving an education he will also be looked after properly.

In saying that, a strange feeling occurred the other day. I went to collect Zack from nursery on Monday. It was his first day back since the Christmas holidays. Oh, sorry, Zack's extended Christmas holiday. I kept him off for the last two weeks to give him time to recover after his battering of general virus nast. Anyway, I go in to collect him and he is sat with his coat on in his chair waiting with the other children and teachers. Usually I walk in and he ignores me, this time he sees me and a big grin appears on his face. Scarlett runs over shouting Zack and strokes his hair and I realise at that moment my little baby boy is now becoming a proper grown up boy.

He just looked older, like a reception class child. It's hard to describe but these past couple of days he has become more like himself again. Responding to lots of things in the house, wanting to join in, being good in his car seat (usually unheard of) and playing with his ipad. Yes. Definite arm lift to touch the screen, I even noticed the extra concentration on his face when he quite clearly lifted his arm to touch the screen in order to get the song to play again.

In a way this shift in who he is gives me comfort. I know he will cope with school and I know he will do well. It's just, will I?


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