It would be a good idea for Zack and for myself to have a bit of separation

Zack had his physio this week. He did very well, good head lifting during tummy time and he even moved his head over to the left to look in the mirror. He tends to like his head on the right side so we are trying to encourage movements to all sides including alignment in the centre. He also tried to throw himself over from his front to his side. He would throw his head back a bit to try and shift his weight. His physio was impressed as he was doing this of his own accord rather than due to a muscle spasm.


The Pants also got to have a go of the physio's gym ball. She shifted his weight from right to left whilst he was on it to get him used to correcting his balance. I told her we have one of these gym ball things (bought when I thought it would be of valuable use in my fitness regime that lasted all of two days). She advised me to give it a try and perhaps just steady it against the couch. Hmmmm, little did she know that previously we had been rolling Zack all around on the gym ball. Whaaaaaat? He likes it.




Today we went to visit Zoe's Place in Liverpool. It is a hospice for children with life-limiting conditions as well as complex disabilities. They offer parents respite care for their children aged from birth to five years.


When you hear the word hospice you imagine a sad place with sick children but it isn't like that. They have a fantastic facility that is open 24-7. It has two little bedrooms each with three cots, a fantastic sensory room, a hydrotherapy pool, a massive play room and it's all set within quiet, beautiful grounds.  


I have been thinking of late that it would be a good idea for Zack and for myself to have a bit of separation. It won't be long before he will be able to go to a nursery class a couple of afternoons a week and at the moment I am very nervous about leaving him with anyone other than family. But I know it will do him and myself good to get used to being in situations without each other. I mean lots of people put their children in to nurseries. But I feel so guilty about leaving him, I guess I am extremely protective of him because I see the barriers and difficulties that his disabilities can create. 


Sometimes I feel that I am the only person who understands they way he communicates. I suppose I am though because I spend so much time with him. However, I have to let him try to experience new things without me, perhaps this is another way that may help in his development. 


They gave me an information pack to complete. Effectively it is like a little handbook for Zack. It lists all his likes and dislikes, his way of communicating, his condition, his medications, his typical day. This way they can put together a care assessment for him so that when he does go and spend time there they know exactly what he needs. Every child has a one to one person in the day and at night time the ratio is one person to two babies. I don't think I could ever leave him there overnight. For now I think I will try an afternoon but even the very thought of it makes me feel quite sick.